1. Not again. As if planned, about 15 hundred (ok, not quite) girls arrive at school with a new trendy bag that all the stores seem to sport at the moment. To be honest, you don’t even like the bag. You-

a. What’s the question? The next day the bag is hanging comfortably on your shoulder as if it belongs there. (Uh, because it does.)

b. You make a pros and cons list, you’re really not sure. Pros win, although you’re not exactly comfortable with the decision.

c. You already said you don’t like the bag! Why would you get something that you don’t like???

2. Quite reins in the classroom as you all busily scribble down your test answers. Suddenly a note lands in your lap. It’s from the most popular girl in the class, asking you for the answer to question 8.

a. You’re thrilled! You can’t believe she actually paid you some attention and quickly reply.

b. Omg, this year you turned over a new leaf and decided never to cheat (Bli neder) again! You’ve been doing great so far, but now… Having nearly finished the test you quickly escape to the bathroom till the end of the period, wondering what to tell her when she asks why you didn’t reply.

c. She’s asking you to cheat?! You would never do that. It’s a pity you’re throwing away the chance to help her, but cheating is a red line that you just can’t cross.

3.Do you think you have your own independent values?

a. What’s that?

b. Sometimes I stick up for what I feel is right and other times I take the easy way out and follow the crowd.

c. Of course I do!

4.Your friends are throwing a goodbye party in a park to a mutual friend who’s moving away. You know these girls, they can get rowdy. The party might attract too much attention.

a. You’re going. You’d never pass up on such a fun event!

b. You’re uncertain… You ask your parents what to do and they advise you to stay home. You do so, wondering what you’ve missed out on.

c. You suggest they all come to your house for the party. If they don’t agree you stay home, but of course you put in your share of money for the present.

5.Lunchtime. You and your friends sit and relax with your lunches, chatting about this and that. Then the conversation veers towards something that sounds like Lashon Hara, no, definitely Lashon Hara. What do you do?

a. You’re too embarrassed to ask then to change the topic, and I don’t have anything to say. So you uncomfortably wait it out.

b. You turn to the quiet girl next to you and… ask her about the weather. At least now you’re not listening!

c. You either walk away or say in a friendly tone “I think we should be talking about something else now.” They should get the hint.

 

If you got mostly a’s- Do you have a mind of your own? I’m sure you do. But you don’t use it much! You might be stuck in a vicious cycle, but you can break free! Start listening to your inner voice who tells you what is right for you. (And not for your friends.)

If you got mostly b’s- Of course you want to be like your friends. We all do. But to an extent. If you feel very uncertain all the time, it may be time to rethink your values, and do what you want to do. That way you will feel happier and more in control!

If you got mostly c’s- This is rare. You fully believe in yourself, know what is right or wrong, and stick by your choices! Good for you! Just make sure not to make your friends feel bad or lower than you in the process.