I’m sorry I haven’t written in a bit, but I’ve been horribly busy. Okay, maybe it was only about a week and a half, but still. Last Shabbos, the middle school of my school went on a shabbaton (when people go somewhere as a group over Shabbos) in San Diego. It was a lot of fun! My friends and I happened to be in the same room as one of our bnot ami, which was also very fun. I mostly ate candy and played with my teacher’s little children. J
You know, there is a lot of value in writing things down, because I had a whole blog post planned out in my head, but now I can’t remember it. Well, to improvise while I’m remembering it. In the meantime, here’s a joke, again from Oys and Joys!
An American, a Chinese, a Russian and an Israeli are all loitering on the street corner when a reporter comes up to them and asks, “Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”
First, the Russian asks, “What’s an opinion?”
Then the Chinese inquires, “What’s meat?”
The American follows up with, “What’s a shortage?”
Then the Israeli queries, “What’s ‘excuse me’?”
Yesterday (the 10th) my partner and I finally performed our Ivrit (Hebrew class) play! Here it is in English, if you’d like to read it. We were doing a unit on the restaurant, though ours kind of strays away a bit from it. (Hee-hee!)
The Dog and the Hot Dog
Waitress: Look, there’s a dog in the restaurant!
Chef: That looks yummy…
Waitress: Don’t eat him! He’s very cute!
Chef: But I cooked all day and didn’t eat anything! I can make a good hot dog out of him!
Waitress: No, I want to bring him home!
Chef: Sorry, but you know that the policy is to not bring home food from the restaurant.
Waitress: But he’s not food – he’s a dog! (she leaves the kitchen)
Chef (to himself): This is a Hebrew class –it’s naknikiah (hot dog), not kelev cham (hot dog – literally)! Come here, dog, I have a treat next to this pot. Shh! Bark quietly!
(The waitress comes in and sees the dog)
Waitress: Do we have any more silverwa…no! Don’t hurt him! He’s not yummy, he’s furry! Cooked dogs are not good!
(she brings him home for the night)
Chef (on tiptoes): Shh…
Waitress (waking up): What are you doing in my house? Don’t hurt him!
Chef: But I was just trying to eat him! He looks yummy!
Waitress: Maybe we can compromise.
Chef: Okay, what compromise?
Waitress: Maybe we can go to a restaurant and order a hot dog.
Chef: Okay! That’s good; which restaurant?
Waitress: Do you want to go to a hot dog stand?
(They go to the hot stand together)
Waitress: What do you want on your hot dog?
Chef: I want…onions, mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard, with French fries on the side, please.
Chef: How much does that cost?
Man: 20 shekels (about 5 dollars), please.
Chef: Here –
Waitress: No, I’ll pay!
Chef: Thank you so much!
Waitress: Sure, so long as you don’t hurt the dog!
Chef: Yes, yes… but I like hot dogs.
Boss: Where were you?
Waitress: He wanted to eat Poochy, so we went to a hot dog stand –
Boss: You went somewhere other than our restaurant? You’re fired!
Waitress: No! But… but…
Boss: You can go work at the hot dog stand, since you like it so much!
Waitress: Good idea!
I was the chef. The ironic thing is, I’m a vegetarian!