I dedicate this poem l’ilui nishmas (to elevate the souls) of Yosef, Eldad, and Chaya Salomon, tragically taken from us in Yerushalayim earlier this week, by terrorism. May it also be a zechus (merit) for yeshua, bracha, refuah, and nechama, for their surviving family– Savta Tova, daughter-in-law Michal, and her three young children. Baruch Hashem they were saved, and may they always proudly bear their family name and legacy. They are the continuation of Am Israel– Chai!!!

Fallen Angel

For a time I existed
In a golden realm
My home, a Holy place
Radiating peace, harmony
And light

Once I flourished
On a spiritual plane
My Essence One with its Source
A Divine servant I was
In completion

In the city of pure beauty
G-d was so clear
We walked uninterrupted
In our purpose and mission
The aura of Torah
Radiant, encapsulating

Heaven on earth
It was known
Throughout the millennia
The Shechina always evident

I dwelt on earth as an angel

But one day
Something snapped
The dam of serenity
That was pillar of my home

Conflict, pain and dark
Trickled steadily in
Now recalled in a blur
A sensation that felt
At the time unknown
That of terror and helplessness
Began to reach

It grasped my garment
I had nowhere to fly
I turned my face to my Lord
I reached in my tears
For His Hand and His Word

But it was too late
The dark took me down
With a final mighty wrench
I lay, broken
My golden world shattered
In an instant

I became a fallen angel

I turned ‘round with a cry
And witnessed
A land laid waste
Bare and smoldering
My people fragmented
Like chaff in the wind

The gleaming edifice was invisible
On its mount
Glory and center of
Wisdom and joy
Bridge between Heaven and Earth
Ascended up to the heavens
In black
With the vapors of
My tears

I whirled around into dizziness
Calling my Master’s Name
I was lost
With a stab of remorseful pain
I realized
Something else was missing
I had exiled my Master
Into hiding

Like the angel who hasn’t yet
Fulfilled his mission
Like the malach
On Shabbos Kodesh day
I have been silenced
My lips have been sealed
Of zemiros and shirim
Locked within me
As I gaze on
In wait
For when I shall
Sing again

Through a lengthy Galus I have suffered
With my people
Israel and its heart
Switched hands again and

Torment I’ve borne
Dark days forlorn
Bereft of all but
The Infinite Spark
Our anchor and magnet
Sustaining us

It called in a whisper
The Voice of my Master
Emanating from somewhere
Deep within
In tears melded with comfort
I realized
I was not truly

But I was a fallen angel

Great stature I have
Fallen from
I’ve slipped from the heights
Of the soul
Wealth of wisdom
And understanding
Peace and unity
I’m rebuilding
I’ve set out on a great
And painstaking search

I am endowed with a mission
Like an angel sent down
To this world
In human form
Who grasped Lot’s hand
Visited Avraham’s tent
Pointed Yosef
Down the path

I’ve been set to endure
The temptations and nisyonos of
This world
And fallen, though I have
I can climb back up
I am searching for my Master
In every corner of
My life

I am like an angel
In Yaakov’s dream
On the ladder
Though I’ve descended to
The very ground
I will climb back again *

I am a fallen angel

The Torah enlightens us that
An angel is bound
By G-d’s word
Set to fulfill only
Its decreed mission

Like the angel
I’ve held fast
To my purpose in life
Though I fell
I never let it

My Master entrusted me
With finding Him again
Revealing Him in this chaotic
Where G-d is masked

And He’s provided me
A ladder
The Torah
To instruct and elevate
To ascend once again
Rung by rung
Day by day

Very soon, I pray
In our righteousness
And with haste
That there will be no more
Doubt and fear
United in faith
Will we all be
Torah and mitzvot
Light and goodness
In abundance

I can help to restore
The Divine state to
Our world
Bring Heaven back down
See the face of Hashem
And join hands in joy
And song
With my brethren
All re-ascended
No longer silenced
In the Bayis Hashlishi
In Yerushalayim
City of peace
During Moshiach’s reign

I will live as an angel once more


(* A Fascinating Note from the Midrash {Bereishis}:  In Yaakov Avinu’s prophetic dream, a few of the Malachims’ climbs on the ladder foretold the rise and fall of the empires who would take the Jewish People, Yaakov’s descendants, captive.  The entity who was the Sar (protective angel) of Bavel (Babylon), ascended 70 rungs of the ladder, and ‘fell’ down.  This represented the seventy-year-long Galus Bavel, succeeding the destruction of the first Bais haMikdash.  The Sar of Media (later/also know as Persia), mounted 52 rungs, and fell.  A glimpse of the fifty-two-year-long Median Exile.  The Sar of Greece scaled 120 rungs, and then plunged, corresponding to the Greek Exile.  Finally, Yaakov witnessed the protective Angel of Edom (showing the Roman Exile, to the present day), climb, climb, climb, out of sight, its mount appearing to be unending.  He inquired of Hashem:  “Will this Galus (represented by this malach) be forever?”  Hashem responded, with a promise.  No, it wouldn’t.  “Even if the malach climbs as high as the stars, I Myself will conquer him in the end.”)