Have you ever had that feeling when a bunch of random things or ideas are swirling through your head, and you just need to do something with them?
When that happens to me, I tend to sort them out by making a list. I’ll either save it my head, or if it’s really bothering me, take a moment to write it down.
Rather unfortunately, one of my recent lists was titled Stuff I Would Do if I Wasn’t Jewish.
I don’t want to put in the specifics, but out of what I have so far, this is the general overview.
- Re-watch a certain movie series. (I have re-watched parts of it, when I need to turn my brain off, but who, especially a girl with 9 hours of school and busy family, has 10 hours to watch mostly pointless content?)
- Watch a certain movie series. (It would be very painful to watch, but again, we’ll get to that soon. But honestly, from a haskafic perspective, what’s the point?)
- Read a certain book or start betting on เข้าร่วม UFA วันนี้.
- Get a role as an extra in some awesome movie one day, just for the fun of it.
- Finish my first novel already!
I could get on, but you see the point. Most of these (that’s why I’m not continuing, then we get into technicalities about why Jewish schools do dance and painting but not karate! :) ) have to do with media. Something which we are told is bad and wrong, but with no clear reason. So why do we stay away (or try, or pretend to try to) from it? And although ‘that’s just what Bais Yackov girls do’ is showing admirable dedication to the rules, wouldn’t you like a more satisfying reason? One that shows why you’re doing it for yourself?
I actually asked two friends, both more into movies than I am, a similar question. Credit for the answer goes to S.S. (If by some miracle, S, you’re reading this, you know who you are.)
“Why do people watch sad movies? What’s the point of watching something that’s supposed to make you feel miserable?”
S. (who has time for even the strangest of questions) replied that it helps the audience feel connected to movie. For some people, it works to laugh, but pain can connect the watchers with situations that they know are fictional.
She’s totally right. As humans, watching someone’s pain triggers so much empathy, it makes it so real. And then when the characters laugh together at the end, it’s the most satisfying feeling in the world, because you know how much they overcame to get there.
So what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with leaving the real world for a little while and enjoying something else?
The reason why this generation is so obsessed with movies, games, even music, is because we (here, we is used in the most general sense possible) haven’t got much else. Media is numbing. It stops you from having to think as much. We know that money isn’t everything, but we don’t know what is everything. So people have found a way to numb themselves, to disconnect from reality with video games and movies. They’ve also found ways to convince themselves that pain is normal and okay, such as miserable music. Yet there are people with no TV, no Video Games, who are more happy and satisfied than far richer people. What do they have?
We’re Am Yisroal. We know that there is more to life than looking for happiness and meaning. We’re not trying to fill a hollow empty space inside ourselves; it is already full with a connection to Hashem. And even if that can feel lacking at times, we need to try to reach for it, not to give up and give in.
It is hard. We do need some way to relax and express ourselves, for sure. But isn’t there a better, more satisfying way to do it?
Have you noticed that most modern music is either about how good one particular moment is, or how miserable someone might be now that it’s over? Life’s not about living high and low, up and down. Life is about learning to move past the challenges, and be strong even when we’re tested and pushed to our limits.
So don’t vegetate and stare at a screen. Express yourself! Create! Find a talent and use it! The joy of achievement is so much greater than the joy of a movie, because it’s real, and because you did it! You!
Don’t read books that are full of pointless, painful drama. There are so many books, not even just Jewish ones but a few, rare and special others as well, that are inspiring and uplifting, that don’t temp empty pleasure.
People enjoy music that they feel connected to, but rather than just have your misery validated, wouldn’t you rather be uplifted? Again, it doesn’t have to be Jewish, especially not at first. And for those trying to make the leap, there is some really good modern Jewish music, sort of a rock and techno style, but with nicer themes and messages, that has recently come out. People are beginning to understand that we need to make Yiddishkite exciting and inspiring in order to combat the other forces calling for our attention. Take advantage of this
We need to reach deep inwards, and high upwards, to combat the allure of the 21st century. But Hashem knows we can do it. He put us here because we can. Don’t prove him wrong.
May our efforts to find Hashem bring us closer to Him, and Him closer to us, until the days of Moshiach, במהרה בימינו, אמן!!!
PS. I don’t write any of my posts because I’m a huge mitzvah girl and I want to help people who are less observant than me. If I’m writing it, it means I need to hear what I’m saying as much as you do. So please, don’t be afraid to get in touch with me, especially on this. I want to help!
Wow, Miriam. I am humbled by your incredible article :)
good ideas!!!
When you mention media is mind-numbing, I really have to agree with you. I was reading about how to write various forms of screenplays not too long ago, and when it comes to writing TV scripts (I’m neither endorsing or decrying TV at this time) writers are encouraged to write everything in the most obvious fashion, practically spoon-feeding the information to the viewers.
I like detective storylines because I can do some thinking of my own right along with the detective as the plot thickens, and I tend to draw my own conclusion for the fun of it instead of waiting for the detective to gather all of the suspects together and inform them of his.
And now I’m going to decry TV just a little bit, even though I was hoping to take a neutral approach. :P Because the media has that magical power of numbing the mind through sheer obviousness, there’s also plenty of room for writers to insert their own views and agendas (their subjective impressions of what’s “right” and “wrong”) into the information they’re conveying so explicitly, which I think definitely isn’t fair to the viewers. I could talk more about that, but I’d sound like a conspiracy theorist!
While as a student I don’t think it’s fair to quiz kids on “correct” or “incorrect” inferences based on reading materials — Who said we all have to form the same conclusion objectively, and who said there’s only one correct conclusion? — I believe it is important that people should still be allowed to let their mental gears rotate if not just a little while relaxing over a moving picture.
Sorry if this came out like its very own blog post! :D
So, I’m a book worm by nature. I swallow books. My family’s minhag is not to read goishe books. Sadly to say, like you mentioned, most jewish books have absolutely no reason to them other then: This is something to read! So what are we supposed to do? Stop reading altogether? If anyone could give me some interesting MEANINGFUL stories, I would appreciate it. Also, in my opinion, usually when there is a sad story book, at the end it showed how the person conquered that sadness or what ever was going on! So there is obviously a meaning to those sad stories but what about those short Libby Lazanwik stories which say, usually, non realistic stories. So what’s the point of them???
If you want a book to read, Mussia, can I suggest Lord of the Rings. It’s technically not a Jewish book, but aside from a few short battle scenes, it contains a surprising amount of appropriate ideas. It’s one of the only books I’ve read that’s for a teen reading level but suitable for kids. (note that none of Tolkin’s other books, except maybe the hobbit, are suitable in the same way.)
If your parents (I sometimes wish my parents had this rule) are only permitting actuall Jewish books, you can try Amen Allowed (forgot the authors name) or some of Chaim Walders adult serieses. I’ll check up the names and authors of a few others and get back to you.
mussia-im also a bookworm, and we have the same rule ;) i go to bais rivkah and i read most of the library already!
Sorry Miriam,
Read amen allowed and ALL of chaim walders srries
Mussia- I love to read, I’m reading a book right now called Let My Nation Live, by: Yosef Deutsch. It’s all about the purim story, it takes the story and all the commentary and makes it into a novel so its easy to follow. It’s more like a sefer but I’m reading it as a book on Friday nights after candle lighting. There’s also stories about going out of Miztrayim and the miraglim and a few others I think. It’s worth checking out. :)
I heard of that book but I don’t really like it ;) some of my best books are: plan b, every man a slave, gone west, ten lost/aleph shin.(all novels) i also loved the books by tzivi ehrlich-klein, like “on cabdrivers, shopkeepers, and strangers”, which talk about life in israel.
I am also a book worm! Right now I am in the middle of Ten Lost by Sender Zeyv. It is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!
I just found this: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jewish-books
It is what it says it is:).
I’m sure you’ve all read them already, but I’ll go out on a limb and suggest the mystery trilogy by Ruthie Pearlman. The first is called Dark Tapestry, the second The Movement, and the third Careers, ltd. It’s a bit scary for younger readers, but I’m sure it’s ok for Grade Seven up.
Remember how I mentioned I was writing this for myself too? I just went back and read it again. Since I’ve been sick and have had limited brainpower, (plus finished all my video games 3 times over!) I find myself turning too often to videos. That’s ok when it’s a snippet from a movie I’ve already watched and I know exactly what I’m getting, but when it’s not… Unfortunatly, there’s a lot of nasty stuff out there. It’s one thing to decry media, but it’s a lot harder to stick by what you’ve said once your put to the test. Any suggestions of stuff to keep me busy and cheerful that don’t involve a lot of brainpower?